reine-ubu:

So apparently there was a rumor a while back that cr1tikal works as a substitute teacher.

Could you imagine just sitting in class, waiting for your teacher, when all of a sudden you hear

"What’s up everybody it’s Cr1tikal. Today I’m substituting Applied Chemistry, let’s do this shit,"

(via sublimesublemon)

  • interviewer: this wasn't listed as a required qualification, but you mentioned in your resume several times that you are excellent at memorization?
  • me: *giggles* oh my gosh, I'm so embarrassed. well, since you asked for a demonstration, *recites 35 consecutive Nicki Minaj verses for the next 20 minutes*

crownkind:

dana-cardinal:

Carlos getting accidentally poked in the eye with a boner in college and henceforth refusing to preform oral sex without safety goggles to this very day

and Cecil’s weirdly into it?

They’re making out on the couch and Cecil’s like ‘do you have protection?’ and Carlos just straps on some safety goggles he was carrying with him for that purpose and Cecil’s just like ‘… okay.’

image

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(via wreckingbally)

drinklust:

once i got very drunk in a bar and my mum had to pick me up so i was trying to act normal by keeping the conversation so i asked her if shes a virgin and she looked at me with pain in her eyes and said “i wish i was”

(via australiansanta)

Reasons Why You Should Love House Martell

suburbanwhitemomvevo:

  • gender equality
  • you can have sex with anyone you want and no ones gonna judge you
  • bastards arent treated like shit
  • the highborns can marry commoners and no one gives a shit
  • its sunny all the time in dorne
  • their fighting style is like 104% badass-er than everyone else
  • oberyn martell is one hot piece of ass
  • they stand against westeros’ blatant rape culture
  • their house words should be im sexy and i know it

(via wreckingbally)

eatmypussyliketherussianfamine:

nothing pisses me off more than a dude who i don’t find attractive, who i wouldn’t even fuck, who isn’t even on my radar to come at me sideways with some advice to tell me how to be more attractive to his standards

you look like a dirty wash rag after cleaning a pot full of pork chop grease like 

who gave you the right? 

image

(via 2srooky)

sociallyawkwarddarcy:

cornersofmind:

Teen Movies: 8tracks Collection

I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80’s movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason.

80s Boombox: 01. The Breakfast Club - Don’t You Forget About Me; Simple Minds | 02. Say AnythingIn Your Eyes; Peter Gabriel 03. Dirty Dancing - Eyes; Eric Carmen | 04. Pretty In Pink - If You Leave; Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark | 05. Some Kind Of Wonderful She Loves Me; Stephen Duffy | 06.  Valley GirlI Melt With You Modern English | 07. Sixteen Candles - True; Spandau Ballet | 08. Pretty In Pink - Try A Little Tenderness; Otis Redding | 09. Dirty Dancing The Time Of My Life; Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes | 10. Top Gun Take My Breath Away; Berlin | 11. Sixteen Candles If You Were Here; Thompson Twins | 12. Mannequin - Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now; Starship | 13. Some Kind Of WonderfulAbuse (Dr. Mabuse Remix); Propaganda | 14. Back To The FuturePower of Love; Huey Lewis and the News | 15. Can’t Buy Me LoveAll Night; Randy Hall | 16. The Breakfast ClubWe Are Not Alone; Karla DeVito | 17. St. Elmo’s Street - Man In Motion; John Parr | 18. Footloose - Footloose; Kenny Loggins | 19. Risky Business - Old Time Rock N Roll; Bob Seger | 20. Ferris Bueller’s Day OffTwist And Shout; The Beatles | 21. Back To The Future - Johnny B. Goode; Chuck Berry | 22. The Blues Brothers Shake A Tail Feather; The Blues Brothers feat. Ray Charles | 23. Flashdance - What A Feeling; Irene Cara | 24.  Can’t Buy Me Love - Can’t Buy Me Love; The Beatles | 25. Happy TogetherHappy Together; The Turtles | 26. Dream A Little DreamDream A Little Dream Me; Mel Tormé and Mickey Thomas | 27. Real GeniusEverybody Wants To Rule The World; Tears For Fears | 28. HeathersTeenage Suicide (Don’t Do It); Big Fun 29. Weird Science - Weird Science; Oingo Boingo | 30. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off - Oh Yeah; Yello. [LISTEN] 

90s Discman: 01. Cruel Intentions - Bittersweet Symphony; The Verve | 02. Romeo + Juliet - Lovefool; The Cardigans. | 03. ArmagedonI Don’t Want To Miss A Thing Aerosmith | 04. Freaks and GeeksBad Reputation; Joan Jett and the Blackhearts | 05. She’s All ThatRockafeller; Skank Fatboy Slim | 06. CluelessKids In America; The Muffs | 07. Can’t Hardly WaitI Can’t Get Enough Of You, Baby; Smash Mouth | 08. 10 Things I Hate About YouI Want You To Want Me; Letters To Cleo |09. She’s All ThatKiss Me; Sixpence None The Richer | 10. Cruel IntentionsColorblind; Counting Crows | 11. Romeo + Juliet - Talk Show Host; Radiohead | 12. Dawson’s Creek - I Don’t Want To Wait; Paula Cole | 13. I Know What You Did Last SummerClumsy; Our Lady Peace | 14. Buffy The Vampire Slayer - Buffy Theme; Nerf Herder | 15. JawbreakerYoo Hoo; Imperial Teen | 16. Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead - Draggin’ The Line; Beat Goes Bang | 17. American PieMutt; Blink 182 | 18. Empire RecordsSugarhigh; Coyote Shivers | 19. Drive Me Crazy -  Keep On Loving You; The Donnas | 20. CluelessAlright; Supergrass | 21. Hayley Wagner, StarLook At Me; Geri Halliwell | 22. Teaching Mrs TingleSorry; Stretch Princess | 23. Wish Upon A StarHeaven; Moonpools and Caterpillars | 24.10 Things I Hate About You - Can’t Take My Eyes Off You; Heath Ledger | 25. Buffy The Vampire SlayerLittle Heaven; Toad The Wet Sprocket | 26. Empire Records - Til I Hear It From You; Gin Blossoms | 27. ElectionThis Road I’m Traveling; Mojave 3 | 28. That Thing You Do That Thing You Do; The Wonders | 29. TitanicMy Heart Will Go On; Celine Dion | 30. Drive Me Crazy(You Drive Me) Crazy; Britney Spears. [LISTEN]

00s MP3 Player: 01. A Walk To Remember - Someday We’ll Know; Mandy Moore and Jon Foreman | 02. A Cinderella Story - I’ll Be; Edwin McCain | 03. Down To You - Let’s Stay Together; Seal | 04. Juno - Anyone Else But You; The Moldy Peaches | 05. (500) Days Of Summer - She’s Got You High; Mumm Ra | 06. The O.C. - California; Phantom Planet | 07. Veronica Mars - We Used To Be Friends; The Dandy Warhols | 08. Mean Girls - God Is A DJ; P!nk | 09. Legally Blonde - Perfect Day; Hoku | 10. Bring It On - Hey Mickey; B*Witched | 11. The Princess Diaries - Miracles Happen; Myra | 12. Just My Luck - Just My Luck; McFly | 13. She’s The Man - 4Ever; The Veronicas | 14. Freaky Friday - What I Like About You; Lillix | 15. The Perfect Man - I Will Learn To Love Again; Kaci Brown | 16. Wild Child - Let Me Think About It; Ida Corr vs. Fedde Le Grand | 17. Boys and Girls - Can’t Stop The Rock; Apollo 440 | 18. Freaky Friday - Happy Together; Simple Plan | 19. Josie And The Pussycats - Three Small Words; Rachael Leigh Cook, Tara Reid and Rosario Dawson | 20. Save The Last Dance - All Or Nothing; Athena Cage | 21. Whatever It Takes - Charm Attack; Leona Naess | 22. Confessions of a Teenage Drama QueenThat Girl; Lindsay Lohan | 23. Lizzie McGuire - What Dreams Are Made Of; Hilary Duff | 24. Raise Your Voice - Someone’s Watching Over Me; Hilary Duff | 25. What A Girl Wants - Long Time Coming; Oliver James | 26. A Walk To Remember - Only Hope; Mandy Moore | 27. Get Over It - Dream Of Me; Kirsten Dunst | 28. The Notebook - I’ll Be Seeing You; Billie Holiday | 29. The Prince and Me - I Hope That I Don’t Fall In Love With You; Marc Cohn | 30. The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants - These Days; Chantal Kreviazuk. [LISTEN]

10s Smartphone: 01. Pitch Perfect Cups (When I’m Gone) Anna Kendrick | 02. Easy A Change Of Seasons Sweet Thing | 03. The Fault In Our Stars Boom Clap; Charli XCX | 04. Veronica Mars - Stick Up; Max | 05. Twilight - Black Hole; Muse | 06. Divergent - Beating Heart; Ellie Goulding | 07. Vampire Academy - Bela Lugosi’s; Dead Chvrches | 08. G.B.F. - Body Work; Morgan Page feat. Tegan & Sara | 09. The First Time - Wait For Me; Motopony | 10. Veronica Mars - Prosthetic Love; Typhoon | 11. Catching Fire - Silhouettes; Of Monsters And Men | 12. The Spectacular Now - Song For Zula; Phosphorescent | 13. Breaking Dawn - Turning Page; Sleeping At Last | 14. The Fault In Our Stars - All Of The Stars; Ed Sheeran | 15. The Hunger Games - Safe & Sound; Taylor Swift and The Civil Wars | 16. Beautiful Creatures - Never Too Late; Thenewno2 | 17. The To Do List - Fade Into You; Mazzy Star | 18. City of Bones - When The Darkness Comes; Colbie Caillat | 19. Vampire Academy - Spiritual; Katy Perry | 20. Divergent - I Need You; M83 | 21. The Bling Ring - All Of The Lights; Kanye West feat. Rihanna, Kid Cudi | 22. Pitch Perfect - Price Tag / Don’t You Forget About Me / Give Me Everything; The Barden Bellas | 23. Dirty Girl - Your Love; The Outfield | 24. The Perks Of Being A Wallflower - Heroes; David Bowie | 25. Easy A - Knock On Wood; Emma Stone | 26. It’s Kind Of A Funny Story - Where Is My Mind; Maxence Cyrin. [LISTEN]

By far the playlist that took me the longest to compile.

(via t1psygnostalgic)

FRIENDLY REMINDER FOR US COLLEGE-BOUND STUDENTS

howtogrowthefuckup:

SO HELP ME GOD YOU LITTLE SHITS BETTER USE FAFSA.GOV TO FILL OUT YOUR FUCKING FAFSA.

IF YOU PAY $88 TO FILE YOUR FAFSA AT FAFSA.COM, I WILL SMACK THE DUMB LOOK RIGHT OFF YOUR DAMN FACES. FAFSA.COM IS NOT AFFILIATED WITH THE US DEPARTMENT OF ED. THEY ARE BAD PEOPLE WHO WILL TAKE YOUR MONEY AND CHARGE YOU TO FILL OUT A FREE FORM.  A FREE FUCKING FORM. FREE IS THE FIRST WORD IN THE ACRONYM!

.GOV IS LOVE. .COM IS A PUTRID POOL OF FUCKERY.

-THE VERY ANGRY SUDDEN ADULT

(via rectalragnarok)

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